In the Process of Weaning off SJ

I'll wait a few more days before I update SJ's Lilypie breastfeeding ticker on top of the blog. I've stopped breastfeeding her for 2 days now, when she turned exactly 3 years old. Well, if I didn't change my mind, that's it.

It's not been easy on her weaning journey, as you can read from here. I've tried many things, and the progress was crawling very slowly. Maybe both of us prefer to stay in that comfort zone, and if it's not because of the dateline that I gave her, I don't think I would ever be ready myself. I've told her that when she turned 3, my nen nen will turn spicy. She cringed when she heard that, because she didn't like spicy food. Well, I don't like to lie to her, but I don't see a way out. Unless I want to breastfeed her till she's in primary.. gosh, I couldn't imagine that! Will she ever grow out of that if I didn't make any effort on my part? I was very tempted to try, but felt that it's rather unwise, really. Maybe another 6 more months? And continue dragging like this?

Well, I decided to let nature take its course, and see how SJ adapt to it. It turned out rather well. On her lunar birthday, which was actually 2 days earlier than her English one, her Jie Jie decided to remind her that she's a big girl now and could no longer drink Mommy's nen nen. She was ok at first, but later when she was sleepy, she reasoned that it's just a lunar one, and not the actual one. So she told her Jie Jie that she'll just drink a little, and will stop when her Jie Jie said so. I always marvelled at her negotiation skills. Her Jie Jie agreed, and even drilled down a few other rules - have to walk on her own as well, and let Jie Jie hold her hand (she used to ask us to carry her). Well, it's a good thing to see that she took it to Jie Jie's command of authority, which actually save Mommy some work :)

Yesterday being the first day after she turned 3, I dabbed some lemon juice on myself before I woke her up. After getting her ready and managed to persuade her to drink a bottle of milk, we went to school. As usual, she would request me to breastfeed her in the car (when I'm car-pooling with Daddy). I warned her that she's already 3 now, so she couldn't. She started to throw a tantrum, so I told her it'll be spicy by now. She was apprehensive but willing to give it a try. I saw her expression changed, and she pulled my blouse down quickly. She then said, "Tomorrow when it's not so spicy, I'll drink ok?"

Later, when I went to fetch her back from school (or she fetched me from work actually, because Daddy fetched them first before picking me up), she asked me, "Mommy, is your nen nen still spicy?". I told her I have no idea, why don't she try it and see? Well, she made a face after tasting it, and refused to latch on. However, she was crying pitifully, which made me all the more guilty.

That night, she kept asking me the same question. But she refused to even try it, and even finished a full bottle of milk (she hardly finished the whole bottle normally). I have no problem sleeping that night, because she never came near to me once. Instead, she opted to play with Daddy, and was especially hyper-active. Until Daddy pleaded Mommy to breastfeed her, as there's no sign of her feeling sleepy even late into the night. In the end, I patted her to sleep.

Middle of the night, she woke up. But she refused to let me nurse her. She asked me to craddle her and hug her instead, and asked me to bring her to the hall. So I sang lullaby to her and patted her back to sleep, but she couldn't. Then, she asked me to lead her back into the room, asked for some water and then finally dozed off (she refused the bottle as well). I was a little bit taken aback at how well this turn out - I didn't expect her to be so adamant in refusing even to taste.

Early in the morning, when I was preparing dinner, I heard her crying. She wanted me to make a bottle of milk. Phew! I was only too happy to comply. After finishing 4 oz (I made 6oz), she went back to sleep.

And when we're on the way to school, she never once asked me to breastfeed her. I was beginning to wonder, if I have the heart to continue on with this... Am I cruel in denying a child her right? Well, is 3 really too big for this? I don't know if I really want to stop breastfeeding her.. even though I hoped that it would be successful this time. Well, considering other factors in hand, I guess it's time she learn to be more independent and grow out of this habit. We'll see....